Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
