Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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