We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
