Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize