butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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