hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
