is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
