How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize