3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
