we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
