im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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