She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
