fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
