I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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