But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
