I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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