i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
