so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
