I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
