go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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