we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Randomize
