I can tuck mytits in my pants
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
