I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize