i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
