we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize