Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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