you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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