If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
