I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
