hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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