I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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