I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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