Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
