I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
