k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Come share oat with me in your robe
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
