you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize