I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just cropdusted the office
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
