just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize