Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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