And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
