A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
