Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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