Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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