I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
