Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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