Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
