just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
