Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
