If that was your dad, he is hot
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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