Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
