i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
