If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
