is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Boobs speak an international language.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
