lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize