My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
