is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
