my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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