I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
