Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
