hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
