Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
