I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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