Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
