I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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