Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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