ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
