Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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