I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
