did you get engaged???
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize