Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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