just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
